my toughest critic
hello. my name is april.
i have 2 x-chromosomes.
been bitchin' for 18 years.
residing in san diego, ca.
francis bautista<3 ›› 04.04.03
email ›› aloserisapril@hotmail.com
aim ›› smiley aprilface
leave a msg after the beep
smile! it's teh aprilcam!
More pics coming soon. I hope.
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Saturday, November 08, 2003
 Marian's HC game fell really short of my expectations. I got the chance to cheer again with the girls. Sara & I reminisced about camp when she gave me a black eye. Cameron was still her spastic self, especially with the EMTs around.
I was thinking back to how things were a year ago, at last year's HC game. I wasn't with him, nor did I expect to be where I am now. (I mean, was there anyone who expected it?)
It seems more & more likely that I'll leaving in January for the Philippines. I really wanna see my uncle, if something may happen to him later on. And I really, really need to get confirmed still. That'd make it my 3rd trip in 4 yrs. ;)
Today was "Shop Like I'm Rich" Day. Here's what I got..
-- Blazer & pants - $173 at Macy's (orig. $278, but I had gift cards)
-- Sweater & cashmere hat - $61 at Banana Republic (orig. $111, w/o the gift card)
-- Sweater & scarf -- $27 at Reference
-- Jessica Simpson album "In This Skin" -- $16 at Sam Goody Friday, November 07, 2003
It's fun finding "long-lost" cousins on Friendster. Especially the ones you haven't seen or talked to in the longest time & never expected to find them on there, of all people.
There's a possibility I'll be going back to the Philippines in 2 months, during Winter Break. It won't be for that long, but I'll be in the province. *shudders* But in any case, I know I can survive 3 weeks without, for the most part, no phone & no internet access.
I'm still in the process of buggin' my mom for the car insurance. Hopefully today.. *crossing fingers*
Once again, it's like MJ said, "Eastlake is a horrible breeding ground for boys." Thursday, November 06, 2003
I'm probably gunna take more classes during the spring. Y'know, gotta catch up on the units that I ended up dropping this past semester. And it'll prevent me from being lazy (or as Twitchy-sweetie would say, "conserving energy").
Rawkin'! I'm getting an A- in English 115. And I got another A on my Process Analysis essay. SCORE! ;)
I wonder if I could cheer for only 1 half at the HC game tmrw. But then again, that'd be wrong. ;\
And did I mention I hate having blue fingers? We were using blue food coloring in our chem lab last night. My left ring & index fingers still look blue under the light. Dammit.. Tuesday, November 04, 2003
It's getting close to that lovely time of the month when I surf the crimson wave. When I start craving certain foods & get all emotional on your ass. Not to mention, I start acting like a real bitch (if that's not everyday).
It's gotta be.. the comma. ;P
I played it real cool at the DMV yesterday. Although the 1 hour wait was a bitch. And I hate driving the Toyota Corolla now. Minus 4 on the test. So teh team captain of Red Limit better watch out now. ;)
And of course, happy 7 months, Jay-sweetie!
Jay: today, when i called you, i was with Di and Jill, and Di did that *teardrop* thing when i kept on calling you sweetie.
Jay: then jill said, "It's like the two of you are married." Monday, November 03, 2003
 Yvonne (my former cheer coach) called me up yesterday, so I called her back when I got home from San Marcos.
And it seems as if I'll be a cheerleader again for one more night. This coming Friday is Marian's HC game vs. Southwest. I'm just having trouble gathering up the uniform components.
[X] fly-away skirt
[X] shell (that tanktop thingy, for you ignant people)
[X] 2 hair ribbons (1 white, 1 navy blue)
[X] warm-up jacket & pants
[X] Nike cheer shoes
[X] bloomers (wouldn't you like it if I forgot those? =P)
[X] body suit (that long-sleeve turtleneck thingy)
[ ] pom-poms They're unnecessary.
Hmm, and tomorrow it'll be 7 months for me & teh Twitchy-sweetie. <3
[edit 1632] I'm officially a California-licensed driver. Sunday, November 02, 2003
It makes me laugh when I read about boyfriends buying their girlfriends all this shit, and then the girlfriends brag about it on their blogs, complete with pictures. But all that doesn't matter much to me.
Believe me, I used to give a lot more than I received before, but never really received much in return, as far as emotions or anything intangible were concerned.
I still vividly remember everything I was doing at Senior Retreat, 7 months ago. And especially what was doing thru my mind. Laying on my bed at the cabin, listening to "You Are The One" by Jocelyn Enriquez, waiting to set up for dinner in the dining room. How I'd look up at the stars & wonder how things would turn out to be..
I enjoy being, for the most part, low-maintenance. Because I got him. And money can't buy that, even the flaws & shortcomings. Friday, October 31, 2003
Okay, let's face it. I feel like shit. I've been feeling like shit for several months now. WHY?
I kinda feel helpless, too. To some extent, at least. It'd be nice if I could run away -- get far, far away from San Diego. I know it wouldn't make things better, but only delay the inevitable. Maybe even make things worse in the process.
This hardcore guilt-trip & inferiority complex is driving me to the edge, where I might do something I know I'll regret later.
Somehow, I feel like the only way I can deal is if I push away whatever makes me happy, so that people can feel better. I've always kinda sacrificed my own freetime & happiness for others. And it just might happen again.
Time to retreat to the only place where I somewhat feel safe -- my dreams. Good night. Thursday, October 30, 2003
1) If there's anything worse than being lied to & being cheated on, it's when a BOY leaves his girlfriend or wife to deal with tough shit on her own. Or even if it's an ex-girlfriend or ex-wife. Especially if that boy played a role in it.
You just don't do that, unless you have , when you start saying shit that you don't really mean. That you'll be there for her when she needs you the most. That if she loved you, she'd do this or that, because it's the right thing to do. BULLSHIT. That really shows a fuckin' lack of maturity.
It's guys like you that make me so fuckin' sick. Start taking some responsibility for your shit, for once, instead of looking for other people to put the blame on.
Remember, you fuckin' sissy: Karma WILL come back to bite you in the ass, and you'll never know what the fuck hit you.
CAN I GET AN AMEN?! =P
Me: lol i'm noticing that a few girls on my sites i read list on xanga talk about "boys are stupid, throw rocks at them"
Jay: ?
Me: y'know.. boy problems
Jay: ahhh
Jay: they just speak a different language that girls do
Jay: that's no reason to throw rocks at 'em
Jay: what if they're sharp?
Me: hmm what if they're sharp..
Me: OH WELL
Me: =X
[edit 1653] Frankly, I'm glad I did not to go SDSU. It's been a real blessing to have to go to SWC. I mean, otherwise, I wouldn't have met these people. It's been such a long time since I've had so much fun going to school. Actually lookin' forward to going to school. That's been a first since I don't even remember when.
I've practically broken away from the Marian ties I had with people. I'm not holding onto the high school memories anymore. I don't miss it. What's done is done. Let's leave it at that.
Hell, I've met people that I can honestly say, that maybe several years ago, I don't think I could see myself being friends with. I've opened up & someone has fueled a lot of that. I'm sorry if I've changed. I'm sorry if I can't go to you for advice or whenever I'm having problems like I used to. I just don't feel comfortable. Maybe it's just.. I can't relate like I used to. Wednesday, October 29, 2003
Well, looks like I might be a Marian cheerleader again. For one night at least. I heard along the grapevine that the C/O 2003 cheerleaders may be called up by Yvonne this week with details about cheering at the HC game vs. Southwest next Friday.
During my senior year, the seniors made up the bulk of the cheersquad, about 11 of us, out of 23, them sophomores, juniors and JV (freshmen).
We'll see what happens.. I'm outta shape, but I still got it goin' on. ;) Tuesday, October 28, 2003
5 music groups you listen to_
-- *NSYNC
-- Weezer
-- Limp Bizkit
-- Morning Musume
-- No Doubt
5 things you hate_
-- being confined at home
-- losing in DDR to my nephew
-- not getting enough sleep
-- drama on my dad's side of the fam
-- my nearsightedness
5 things that scare you_
-- losing loved ones
-- failure
-- dying alone
-- being betrayed
-- not living up to my family's expectations
5 things you love_
-- God
-- my family
-- Twitchy-sweetie
-- my friends
-- me, myself & i
5 things in your room_
-- my iMac
-- pictures of friends&family
-- Disney lithographs
-- my growing manga collection
-- Soul Calibur II poster
5 random facts about you_
-- I learned HTML in the 7th grade.
-- I'm an SDSU reject. And proud of it.
-- I was born on Easter Sunday.
-- I have 25-30 pairs of shoes.
-- Yup, I was one of those "Body Arts girls."
5 things you plan to do before you die_
-- get married & have kids
-- go skydiving and/or bungee-jumping
-- travel around the world
-- be truly happy with myself & my life
-- do something productive
5 things you can do_
-- beat Soul Calibur II =P
-- spend money like no one's business
-- the splits
-- be very nit-picky about details
-- express my feelings best thru writing
5 things you can't do_
-- cook
-- eat seafood
-- sit thru a marathon of anything
-- tolerate sudden weather change well
-- fall asleep quickly
5 things you say the most_
-- oh my god!
-- shut up!
-- shit!
-- fuck!
-- yeah right!
5 things you are doing right now_
-- talking in a chat with Jill & Twitchy-sweetie
-- listening to Michelle Branch
-- chewing Orbit gum
-- sitting down at my computer
-- checking who just signed on AIM
5 things you ate/drank in the last 24 hours_
-- Coca-Cola
-- spaghetti
-- Sierra-Mist
-- toasted pan de sal
-- beef broccoli
5 things you did so far today
-- woke up
-- talked to Twitchy-sweetie (early, early morning)
-- brushed my teeth
-- read some blog entries
-- cried
5 things you can hear right now_
-- Michelle Branch's song "You Set Me Free"
-- my typing on the keyboard
-- clickity click of the mouse
-- people signing on AIM
-- IM sounds
5 colors you can see_
-- light blue
-- white
-- gray
-- black
-- red
5 thoughts in your head_
-- when will it be safe enough to go back to school?
-- i haven't seen him in 6 days now.. no wonder we talked so long on the phone.
-- i wonder if any of my PI cousins are on Friendster
-- what would've happened if she did give 'em a chance?
-- hour #68 of house arrest.. AHH!
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